Olympic athletes are the best of the best, and make incredible sacrifices to actually make it to the Olympics. You would think that getting a medal, any medal, would put one over the moon. However, Andrea Luangrath, a University of Iowa assistant marketing professor, told NPR that while the happiest person on the podium is the individual that won the gold, the person that won the bronze medal is often happier than the one that won the silver. This seems counterintuitive, but it appears that the person that comes in second compares themselves with the winner and obsesses on the fractions of a second between winning the silver and gold, and how close they came to winning it all. The bronze medalist doesn’t think about how close they were to winning silver. They think about how close they were to not making it to the podium at all. As non-Olympians, we don’t commit our entire lives to one sport, or event. But then, our results aren’t publicly compared against others either.
What is good enough? Good enough doesn’t mean giving up just short of perfection. Nothing is ever perfect, and to try to achieve it is a recipe for disappointment and frustration. The Parthenon appears perfect, but looks are deceiving. There are virtually no straight lines or right angles as the architects incorporated various “devices” to make it appear perfect, when it is anything but. A long beam held up by columns at the end will appear to sag in the middle, even if the columns are exactly the same length. In the Parthenon, the architects accounted for this optical illusion, creating a dome at the center of the length so it appears straight. (https://www.greece-is.com/the-optical-illusions-that-make-the-parthenon-perfect/). Good enough, to me, is either not putting forth your best effort, or deciding to stop before the project is done. I’ve always enjoyed gardening and wanted to build a raised bed. I found a version I liked, bought materials, and worked with my brother to build a raised bed. Neither of us have any woodworking skills, but we managed to get it built. The final step was to install a board around the top horizontally, making a ledge that I could sit on while reaching in to weed and harvest. I didn’t get the bed built until Memorial Day and was anxious to start planting. I could fill the bed with planting material and get plants in the ground without the ledge, and that’s what I did. It looks pretty good. A neighbor even asked which kit I used. But, I know it’s missing the top piece. To me, it’s serviceable, but it’s not done.
When is good enough good enough? If you wash wine glasses, it is not uncommon for them to have water spots. If the wine glasses are rarely used, or used only by family, and they are kept in a closed cabinet, the water spots may not matter. But, what if the glasses are kept on an open shelf, and light from the window will shine through them, making the water spots visible. In that case, maybe it does matter. If you are having your new boss and her husband over for dinner, it definitely matters.
Know your limitations.
Cara Brookins was in an abusive relationship. She left, taking her four children. She needed to make her family whole again, and she needed to provide a home for them. She decided the best course of action was to rebuild trust in her family by building a home for them to live in. She watched YouTube videos and her and her four kids built a 3,500 square foot house after work and school, in about 9 months. I tend to think that if someone else was able to do something like that, I could do it too. But, I don’t have a construction loan deadline looming, and luckily, I have a place to live. I know that I would drag out a project like that so that it might never be realized.
Know your comfort level.
So maybe I shouldn’t try to build a house from the ground up. But, I can certainly complete some DIY projects. There is plenty of information on the internet and I can follow directions. I know that Ms. Brookins did her own electrical work, and there are plenty of videos on how to do certain electrical projects. However, Ms. Brookins was working on an open-frame structure. Her work had to be inspected by a licensed electrician. If I tackle an electrical project, the work will be hidden behind finished walls and won’t be inspected by anyone. A defect in my work might not be discovered until the house burns down. I don’t mind taking some risks, but I know I would feel better limiting my electrical projects to nothing more dangerous than changing lightbulbs.
Adjust your expectations.
Kurt Fearnley is an Australian wheelchair racer who has won over 40 marathons. In an Apple Fitness ‘Time to Walk or Push’ workout, he talks about a race in New York. He had won several races coming into that one. He had done really well in the marathons in Sydney and Chicago. He wasn’t expecting just to win New York. He was expecting to he could set a race record. About halfway through the race, the steering cable on his wheelchair broke. He could no longer steer, so he could no longer turn corners. He talked about how he considered that he might not even be able to finish the race, let alone win it. But, he didn’t want to quit. He found that he was able to make turns by slamming his body against the side of his chair. And that’s what he did, on every turn for the remainder of the race. He could feel the bruises building on top of each other with each turn. But his choices were to quit, or to do what he had to to finish the race. He finished the race, remarkably, only about 30 seconds behind the winner. But he said that the silver he earned for that finish means more to him than any of the golds he’s taken for other races.
My grandfather used to say ‘a blind man on horseback won’t see the difference’. We’re so hard on ourselves, always expecting perfection. I think we need to focus more on the process than the outcome. Of course we need to have deadlines. We can spend years trying to make something perfect. But, if we’ve put forth our best effort, we should be proud of that effort. When someone expresses surprise that I built a raised garden bed by myself, without a kit, and comments on how great it looks, I no longer point out that it’s not complete. I simply say thank you and agree with them. It does look great, and it serves the purpose. I was able to plant and harvest vegetables using it this year. But, I’m pretty sure that when I build another one next year, and I’m pretty sure I will, I’ll add the top ledge to them both. Just because something is good enough doesn’t mean you can’t learn and do better next time.
